


A coffin is nothing but a coffin

by orphan_account



Series: 30 days of Snowpiercer [1]
Category: Snowpiercer
Genre: Existential Crisis, Gen, M/M, Survival, Werewolf/Vampire AU
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-05
Updated: 2015-08-05
Packaged: 2018-04-13 04:45:45
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 664
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4508304
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Gilliam (the leader of werewolves) and Wilford (the leader of vampires) have made a pact about territories of hunting to maintain the number of their species and victims of the creatures that is crucial to their survival. Gilliam observes his pack - Curtis, Edgar, Tanya and, of course, Grey.</p>
            </blockquote>





	A coffin is nothing but a coffin

**Author's Note:**

> The series are inspired by this challenge http://actualodinson.tumblr.com/post/64547472272/30-day-dark-fandom-otp-writing-challenge

Keeping the balance of human lives requires a certain indifference towards the humans. It is far much easier to do it, when you lock yourself up in a metal, shiny, glowing coffin, so that the only thing you hear are the figures and Claude offering you a new blood-bag. Wilford does that, but Gilliam has deprived himself of such luxury a long time ago. He knits his brow, and his entire self hurts from every scream leaving the bodies of his people’s victims so hideously he wishes he had built his own cave to hide from it. Grey, despite his muteness, could have explained the quantum physics (if only the boy knew what that is) – he sure will be able to deliver the news on the numbers and the remaining prey to his mentor. But as the wailing dies out and the pain stops corroding his soul; Gilliam remembers why he chose to be here. Any hiding place is a coffin in this world, and only dead people need to be in them, so the echoing sufferings of the living will not reach their rotten ears and remind them they’re dead. Gilliam knows he is alive as long he is free.

Curtis will not understand or accept it, because for him the word ‘freedom’ only means the freedom to act. He hunts and feels free, indifferent to the consequences of his actions. He takes little pleasure in killing, but silently justifies himself by the necessity  and the inevitability of it. He is a true survivor, too blind to see that the survival of the body is meaningless without the integrity of the soul. Gilliam does not condemn the young man for it, if he ever blamed any member of the pack for this fault of judgment, he would not have made the goddamn pact on the hunting territories with Wilford.  

Edgar will not understand it, because for him freedom means a possibility to choose a life. He can’t even recollect being turned, and has never felt he had a choice. His only choice in life was to stick with Curtis, but no matter how much he tries to replicate the latter’s ways of talking, acting and, which worries Gilliam the most, fighting, he can’t find the essential cruelty within his soul. One day, and Gilliam would give anything for that day to never come, he will be watching Curtis turn into the wolf form for the millionth time in his life, hear his howling, and Edgar’s mind will bring the long-forgotten memories, reminding that even that choice was not entirely his.

Tanya will not understand, and Gilliam will never ask her to, because she has a son, who was blessed with not inheriting the curse. Unlike Edgar, she makes decisions deliberately, because she has to feed the boy in her hands. Unlike Curtis, she doesn’t look for excuses. She knows guilt, and accepts it with boldness, never searching for a dark corner to shiver, because her soul may be shattering each time she goes along with these men’s ways, but Timmy has a good shot of never comprehending this kind of remorse.

But Grey will, because he has been a locked room from the day he was brought into this world. His loyalty does not come from the desire for forgiveness, naivety or obligation. It comes from his disability, but in nothing of a pitiful way – he has never experienced any other kind of freedom than the freedom of his own mind. Both Gilliam and Grey are bound in their actions, but their thoughts can rise beyond the primitive and humiliating survival this pack is running through. Any trap is a coffin in a way – but some choose to ignore it. They get so caught up in survival and guilt, blindness and rage and choose to consider all this a suitable ground to build an entire world on. And those who are able to find the way out within them will guide less fortunate. 


End file.
